When you’re starting out on a big project, especially something you haven’t done before - it can be extremely easy to get stuck in uncertainty and doubt.
If there’s a lot of different pieces to deal with, and you don’t even know where to start, it can be tempting to keep on thinking about the project in order to gain clarity about the best place to start.
And that works, once in a blue moon. Mostly it doesn’t.
The reason it doesn’t, is that when you’re running the options through your head, you can get some information, but “the feedback” you get, is in the end, 100% imaginary.
You can’t actually know what works and what doesn’t until you give it a go in the outside world, and get feedback from reality.
So instead of trying to come up with the perfect way forward, ask yourself:
“What would be the one thing I could do right now that would actually move me forward in the direction I want to go?”
Then take that one action.
And then repeat the process again and again.
Keep checking in with yourself on what's the most crucial thing to do next, and then do it.
And voilà! You’re on your way to actually completing your project!
Even if you think you don’t know what the next step is, this process will help clarify it for you, through trial and progress.
Let’s take an example. Say you’re genuinely unsure of what you should prioritize to get a big project started. Now, by following the process I described above, you’d ask yourself what task would be the most crucial for actually making progress on your project. By asking this question seriously, you might narrow down a vague cloud of possible actions to two options, task A and task B.
If both of these seem equal in importance, just pick the one you like more, and see where it takes you. Perhaps you realise that you can’t actually complete task A before you’ve done task C! And that wasn’t even on your map of options before!
This is the value of actually going for it and trying things out instead of trying to craft a perfect plan in your head before you get moving.
You learn how the real world works by operating in the real world, not by thinking about it. Even though we humans spend our lives with a vague notion that we know how reality works, we absolutely don’t!
It’s so important to be humble about what you don’t know, and let reality show you by trying out what you want to do.
All of the above works super well when you have enough clarity about the big picture vision for your project.
However, if the big picture direction of the project doesn’t make sense to you, you’re going to find it excruciatingly hard to take even one step forward.
It’s like different parts of you will be pulling in opposite directions, as there’s no inner unified consensus on how to best spend your energy.
It’s like if you have a leader proposing a plan that makes no sense at all to the community - they’re going to spend more time arguing about the plan rather than working for the objective. And that’s intelligent! It’s important feedback to the leader that not enough effort has been put into creating a plan the people can get behind.
It’s absolutely crucial to not try to quash this kind of doubt!
Wanting a plan to make sense and feel really great is a different kind of intelligence than we normally think of. Let’s say your big project is building a new business. If your plan and vision don’t feel great, chances are that you might end up building a business you end up hating!
Of course, I’m not saying that it feels easy and smooth all the time. What I mean is that continuously (re)creating and refining your vision of what feels really exciting is a crucial part of success for any project.
In other words, when you’re experiencing doubt or uncertainty about your project, consider these feelings as the crucial guides that you need to listen to deeply to get the information you need to make your project exciting for you.
Interrogate these feelings about what they need to feel satisfied.
Your doubt and uncertainty crave resolution. When you thoroughly clarify whatever is causing you doubt, you get that feeling of deep satisfaction, all the way to your bones. And that feeling is your signal that you’re on the right path.
In addition, this feeling is extremely nourishing, and in my experience, it really helps you handle the difficult and stressful parts of attempting something you haven’t done before.
It’s like even though it feels hard, your effort makes 100% sense.
All your efforts feel worthwhile, and you find it simple and self-evident to keep going, because the completion of the project is exactly what you need.
When you’re clarifying these doubts, you may need to spend some time and effort educating yourself about the different possibilities for your project.
Next, let’s look at some pitfalls to avoid, in order to not let your efforts to clarify your direction accidentally kill your project!
When you’re clarifying the doubts you have about the direction of your project (your main quest), it’s awfully easy to accidentally fall into all kinds of side quests.
First, there’s an infinite amount of information that you could learn, and it can be incredibly seductive to keep listening to the sweet siren song of never-ending education. Next thing you know, your project has crashed and sunk against the rocks of non-action.
To protect your project (and ultimately yourself) from this scenario, stuff your ears with the constant reminder that you’re only going to learn the minimum amount you require to feel excited about taking your next action. Anything more than that is indulgent and is steering you toward disaster.
(That may sound dramatic, but you have a very limited amount of time to finish the projects you want to complete in this lifetime, and if you let side quests proliferate, they will kill your project. So protect it at all costs!)
Second, as you’re gathering the information you need to feel excited about the direction you’re gonna move forward in, everyone is going to have an opinion about what you should prioritize. Some of these opinions are more well-founded than others, but remember that no-one else is in your exact shoes.
Keep in mind that opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.
My advice here is to stay centred in your embodied knowing of what feels exciting in your body and mind. Build projects and, ultimately, a life that feels wonderful for you!
Only you have access to all of your body and mind, and that’s where your deep excitement lives. That feeling will tell you clearly what your path is, if you respect it and listen to it.
Now, let’s look at a couple of other mindset shifts that can be surprisingly helpful for keeping your focus on what matters.
You may or may not recognize this from your own life, but I certainly know the feeling of losing sight of the big picture when I’m all wrapped up in a project.
I find it annoyingly easy to get lost in the nitty gritty of getting things to work in a way that’s delightful to me, at the expense of keeping my next projects waiting on me.
What helps me to not fall into the trap of refining beyond the necessary are these two reminders:
Another way of thinking that I’ve found to be extremely useful for staying focused and completing projects is imagining my tribe, and how they feel about what I do with my day. I learned about this mindset from this guy, and I absolutely love it!
The gist is that today, you’re the dumbest, most junior member of the tribe of your selves. At the end of each day “you” die. From each morning, you’re a new “you”, who’s got until bedtime to make shit happen.
For example, if I live to a satisfactorily old age, I've got around 17500 days left. That means there's 17500 future selves in my tribe, who are wiser, more experienced and overall more savvy than me. They're the ones I need to work for. Cause if I slack off, tomorrow's self will need to pick up the work, and my future selves won't thank today's me for it!
And conversely, when I level up today, all of my future selves get levelled up too!
The principles that follow from this way of thinking are:
In summary, make yourself a valuable member of your tribe, who lifts yourself up to a better and better future.
I wish you all the best for all your exciting projects, and I hope you:
Lots and lots of love,
Sara